In 2002, I was in college working towards my bachelor's degree in accounting. I had two small children that I was trying to raise, and I was bartending at night so I could be with them during the day and bartending a few nights a week allowed me to pay my rent, provide for them and still have plenty of time for classes and studying. I was not looking for a relationship, as my main focus was getting through school to provide a better future for my children.

I had plenty of friends, a full life and a clientele that supported me and who I considered most of them to be friends (Some still are, but most have proved to be disingenuous😢).  

It all changed the day he started coming to the bar and I was introduced to him by someone who I considered to be a longtime friend. This said friend had known him for years, knew the type of person he was, knew that he had cheated on his wife and was a liar. Somehow he didn't feel the need to warn me!!!!  

I was drawn to his charisma and charm. He had a way of flirting with me that I found very attractive, and I was immediately drawn to him. He was 15 years old than me (I was 30, when I met him), but age has never been a factor to me. I thought he was mature, was a hard worker, had obviously been married before and had two grown children that he had a good relationship with (even more attractive to me). 

I was infatuated and enjoyed our flirtatious banter, my favorite being every time he tried to say he loved my dimples it came out "nipples". We bonded over several things but I still proceeded with extreme caution. I had witnessed friends who had small children that would introduce these "new boyfriends" right away, only to have it go south within a few months. I was not that type and would never subject my kids to a revolving door of men that wouldn't be around for long. Our time together consisted of him coming to the bar when I was working and then on Saturday nights (because I worked dayshift, and my mom had the kids). We had quality time together and had lots of fun. He seemed to respect how hard of a worker I was, how good of a mom I was and how strong I was to be independent and working toward providing a better future for myself and my children. 

It took almost 8 months for me to introduce them to him (in hindsight, I should have followed the reaction of my daughter and RAN). My son was 9 at the time and my daughter was 8. My daughter's reaction to him was not friendly and she absolutely and unequivocally did not like him. But, he had me so far head over heels in love with him that I just thought her reaction was just being protective and not wanting to share MOM with anyone else. Her reaction at times was so comical and he obviously enjoyed the challenge of winning her over. He would come to my house and her question was always, what time are you leaving? If he wasn't gone in the time frame he said, she would come out and point blank say, "Why are you still here, and point out the time to him".