As I stated in my introduction, this has been a great learning experience for me. I have learned to remove toxic people that add to no value to me, who never took the time to understand my experience, listen to what I have to say and honestly just didn't give a shit. I didn't know anything about narcissism, narcissistic people, and the level they go to hide their true identity. The level of chaos and destruction they are capable of was and still is incomprehensible, they take no accountability, victim blame and shame and have absolutely no remorse for their actions.

Have you ever screamed (not literally) so loud about the mental abuse from someone and felt like NO ONE was listening, didn't care and made you feel like you were the bad person for trying to ask for help and support? That was the way I felt for so many years, it's why I stayed for so long and ultimately attempted suicide on more than one occasion. I felt I was alone, no one was taking me seriously about the type of person he actually is, the level of manipulation and mental abuse I suffered at the hands of this man was at times too much to bear. I was told no one cared and no one wanted to hear it. The more I learned, the stronger I became and realized it was okay to remove toxic people from my life, ask for support from those closest to me and SET BOUNDARIES. 

If people do not want to hear from you, support you or respect those boundaries, it is ABSOLUTELY OKAY TO REMOVE THEM (FAMILY INCLUDED). The mental toll that this has taken on my life is something that I live with daily. I suffer from PTSD, I trust NO ONE and probably never will. My life has forever changed and I don't know if I will ever get my self-esteem, confidence or even a part of me back, but I know I'm gonna continue fighting and being an advocate for those in need. Mo one deserves to be traumatized or victimized by people who are too immature and selfish to just be honest. I feel I have no safe space with anyone that is in contact with him, and I trust NO ONE that is in contact with him. I know his level of manipulation. I lived it!!!!

I have read and learned to much that I feel the need to tell my story. This is to help me heal, help others in the same situation and offer a safe space to those in need.