I'm still learning how to navigate. Please bear with me. 

Long-story short, for now:

I accepted a job in West Palm Beach, Florida in 2019. I thought it would be good for us, and maybe an eventual retirement place. Kids and grandkids could come and visit all year round as there is always something to do. My intention with accepting the job was never to stay in FL. I was going to get through my 2 years of training and then maybe transfer back to WV or SC, because anyone that knows me knows that my family is literally everything to me. When the affair broke, I decided to buy a house and stay in FL. A few notes about my move: 

1. He never offered to go with me to find a place to stay or help me get set up. He said he needed to work on his rental property. Three days later, he immaculately had the time to go with his flying monkey's (I'll explain what and who the flying monkeys are on a different page) to Myrtle Beach.

2. I wanted to have a dinner with my family a couple days before leaving as to say my good-byes. His daughter, son (if he was in town, I don't remember) and his grandson were all invited (so I thought). Stupid me left it to him to extend the invitation. As we were getting ready to go to dinner, I asked if they were coming and his exact words were: "No, no one cares that you're leaving, and my daughter is only concerned about who is going take care of me."

• TIDBIT: After the affair was exposed, I talked to his daughter and he never invited them, it was just manipulation to make me feel bad and think that his family actually said those things.
• Of course, I went to dinner crying but didn't show any emotion and had a great dinner. As soon as we got in the car after dinner the guilt trip immediately started until I was sobbing and asked him to stop. I was the one moving my entire life to a place I had never been, didn't have a place to stay and didn't know anyone and all he was concerned about was himself!!!!

On with the story:

When COVID hit, we were put in lock down and working from home, I had been here for maybe 9 months and was so alone, my only interaction was through a computer with work associates and FACETIME with my family (narcissist included). 

I had been home several times for the holidays and to see my grandson (born in March 2020) and every time I made it a point to get together with my family. The fact they could smile in my face knowing they were hooking up, is beyond disgusting. They also went to dinner every Tuesday with my Dad and my brother, which is even more disturbing, I think they got a rush off their lying, cheating, manipulation and secret affair. 

End of January 2021, my sibling discovered that the narcissist had been having an affair with his wife, my sister-in-law. I was completely devastated and in complete shock. Did it surprise me that he was cheating, ABSOLUTELY not. The betrayal from each of them and the disgusting things that were said, the justification, the excuses, the blame, the dishonesty etc..... was unfathomable. 

I understand people make mistakes, people cheat and sometimes relationships can recover with change and hard work. But this affair was absolutely planned. They intentionally made this choice. They knew it would destroy me and relationships with my family and friends and they obviously didn't care.  

Cliff notes: Had conversation with each, they both threw each other under the bus, they both blamed me and said it was my fault and to this day I still don't know when the affair started. I think it started after my mom passed in 2016 because they always called each other Buttercup after that. This is my version of SCANDOVAL that will appropriately be named BUTTERCUP, as that is their nickname for each other. 

After months of love bombing (more on that later), bs apologies, the appearance of remorse, targeting my friends and remaining family, I ultimately let him back in my life. It was promises of no more lies, no more cheating, more time spent in FL with me etc....I gave him a loaded machine gun and he fired every shot, mentally breaking me over and over again. He made no effort to change and insisted that I was the problem and I had issues. He would say "I don't need to change, I know what's wrong with me, you need to figure out what is wrong with you and fix it". Again, these words sent me into deep depression and I tried harder to walk the thin line and not make mistakes. 

In August of 2023 I discovered they were once again in contact with each other. I called my brother and he said that he had been showing up at her work telling her he missed her, bringing her cards and gifts and I DECIDED ENOUGH. Funny how she never mentioned it to my brother or never bothered to tell me (AGAIN, ABOSOLUTELY DISGUSTING). And of course, he denies all of it!!!!!

Of course my detective skills and memory recall went into overdrive. I remember a friend telling me that around the beginning of February 2023, he was at our local bar (I have no clue how the conversation came up) but he made a statement "that the only thing he regrets about the affair was getting caught", WHAT? No one, not one person that I know of said anything to him about this disgusting statement. With some research, I found indications that they had been in contact. I didn't bring it to his attention or ask him about it until 3 months later (when another cheating incident happened in Myrtle Beach) because I knew the consequences of questioning him and I also knew he would talk his way out of it. I gave him the chance he was desperately looking for and it meant nothing because I never meant anything to him. It has been NO CONTACT since I spoke to him at the end of September/Beginning of October and reading lots of information about narcissism and finding a great therapist who specializes in this and who also encouraged me to create this website/blog. 

They are absolutely, unequivocal two of the most disgusting, horrible people I have ever known and I'm ashamed of myself for ever loving either of them. I have no words for people who are capable of this level of hurt.

My idiot sibling is still married to this horrible, vile nonhuman. 

As long as there are no consequences, no accountability and no repercussions these people just live their life and keep leaving a trail of dead bodies without batting an eye and sleep well at night. 

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